Embrace Your Grown

 Six months before my birthday,   I started feeling a little different from the inside.. deep within. Those of you who are reaching milestones may know what I mean. Kind of  like the developmental charts we have for babies..milk to solid food. creeping to crawling.. 



 I felt a change......a shift. .....I coined it ........Ownership! 

Not home ownership ... car ownership ..designer bag ownership, this was not material in nature even a little bit  but. rather .....
Ownership of my life... on my terms....... My  Stage...My Story......My Life...YASS!
 A "I don't really care how you feel or take this but ___________ "attitude.

 A " Well, that is not quite the look I am going for but I have a plan and am fabulous anyway" attitude.

A" My time is better spent doing  X (fill in the blank with anything.. taking a bath, feeding the homeless, putting my kids to bed,  painting my toe nails, A girl's night in the city!  anything but that) attitude. 

This feeling of ownership sprang up in situations where I least expected it. It was almost Euphoric.

Areas where I would naturally acquiesce due to some level of  loyalty for whatever reason,
 "No!" or a "No, I will not be able to! " became so much easier.

 I felt like Steve Urkele,  "Did I do that!"

 Each time I asserted myself, a shackle to my invisible chains of people pleasing, looking for people's approval about my own life choices and self deprecation seemed to break and I began to move closer to my own emotional freedom. If you had asked me prior to this "new awakening" I would have said I had acquired this type of  freedom when I turned 18 and left for college.  

I, a prisoner who did not realize that she needed to be set free like the people depicted in Plato's Allegory of the Cave.  I began to  finally see the light.   I was alarmed at first.even scared that my new found "ownership"  would be off putting , should I retract my statement, cover up, make up something... a little lie to keep the peace.
 


 I have been an executive for many years, so I would not say that I was afraid of asserting my position in the boardroom but in areas of the heart.. family, friends and even to myself, I struggled like so many other Strong women do.

I sat with my sister- in- law at my 40th Birthday party and she said, "You feel different don't you?" and finally I realized that I was not alone.It was an  'AHA' moment like Oprah says.  My sis-in-law understood and I understood. She laughed. We took a shot of something strong and the merriment continued.

 This was one of those moments in life when you do not learn the secret until you join the club like a sorority, Mommyhood or Wifedom. 

The Dreamer

Dreaming always seemed like a luxury to me

A wasted opportunity for sound sleep or a safe plan

To dream is to risk but I believed that the risk never was worth the cost

I would tell myself 

To Dream brings dischord to the daily drum of our lives

Like the white noise that used to happen when a tv station turned off for the night

It makes us shudder

 Dreams steal the security of knowing what to expect.

Like a home security system ...locking out dreams.. protects us 

One day when my gaurds were down. 

I did it,  I dreamed!

That one dream unlocked my soul and unchained my spirit
The dream was like a blue pill transforming my black and white monotony to a 3d Panaromic multicolored capacity


The dream was a seed that impregnated me
Do I abort this vision that seem too good for me.
Relagate myself back to the solace of  monotony

Am I capable of laboring and giving birth to such a plan?

The hardwork, the struggle, the unknown 

The scrutiny, the tears, the vales and hills that certainly lie ahead

A dreamer on the same path as I turned to me and said,
"Whatever you choose
to pursue or to forget your new awakening"
Your world, Your life and Your  Purposed destiny are now in your hands.

Nicole Peltier Lewis

Meditation Monday!

Welcome  to Strive Daily and Meditation Monday.  

An excerpt from a Meditation that blessed me recently.  The lines that stood out to  me I highlighted.

Respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.

Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.

 

 words by Chief Tecusemeh

Meditate on these words and feel free to comment.

 Do not forget to continue to Strive Daily!